Navigating the holiday season while protecting your mental health
As we head into the festive season, many people tell us they feel… conflicted. Excited and grateful, yes. But also stretched thin, a bit overwhelmed, and sometimes quietly dreading certain parts of the holidays.
If that’s you, you’re not alone — and you’re not doing anything wrong.
At The Heart & Mind Collective, this is one of the busiest times of year for conversations about burnout, boundaries, sensory overload, family tension, grief, and pressure (internal or external) to “be cheerful.”
This is our gift to you: practical tools, gentle reframes, and grounded strategies for navigating the holidays in a way that protects you — your energy, your emotional wellbeing, and your nervous system.
Why the holidays feel big (even when they’re “good”)
Even joyful seasons can carry emotional weight. Over the past month, our clients have shared things like:
“The crowds and noise are too much.”
“Old family patterns come back instantly.”
“I feel pressure to be happy when I’m actually exhausted.”
“The to-do list triples, so does the guilt.”
“I love my family, but I also need space.”
“It’s lonely… even when I’m surrounded by people.”
Your brain doesn’t distinguish between “Christmas chaos” and “actual danger.” Stress is stress. And when stress rises, your logical brain can temporarily go offline, leaving old coping styles to take over (people-pleasing, withdrawing, snapping, emotional eating, dissociating, doom-scrolling, etc.).
This isn’t a failure. It’s a sign that your nervous system needs more support, not more pressure.
During periods of high stress, like the holiday season, our brain’s reward system becomes more sensitive, increasing the likelihood of turning to substances or compulsive behaviours (overeating, over-drinking, online shopping, gambling, binge-scrolling) as a way to self-soothe.
Helpful ways to stay regulated this holiday season
Here are a few small, realistic supports you can use this season:
1. Plan your sensory breaks
Give yourself permission to step outside, sit in a quiet room, or take a bathroom break to reset. Comfort-first clothing and noise-reducing earbuds can also help.
2. Use “quiet” regulation tools
These can be done without anyone noticing:
Physiological sigh: Two small inhales through the nose, long exhale through the mouth.
Box breathing: Inhale 4 – hold 4 – exhale 4 – hold 4.
Colour spotting: Pick a colour ahead of time and gently scan the room for items in that colour.
Practise these now, not just in the moment, so they feel familiar when you need them.
3. Let go of perfect
Your finances, energy and circumstances are where they are this year. It’s okay if things are simpler, smaller, or a bit messy. Connection matters more than perfection.
4. Use “Both/And” thinking
Two feelings can exist at once:
Excitement and anxiety
Gratitude and grief
Love and frustration
Joy and overwhelm
You don’t have to choose one. Let the season be messy and honest.
Boundaries: The unsung hero of holiday wellbeing
Setting boundaries isn’t about being difficult, it’s how we prevent resentment, burnout, and emotional exhaustion.
Here are some simple scripts you can borrow:
Time boundaries
“We’d love to come, but we can only stay until 8pm.”
Sensory or emotional boundaries
“I’m going to take a short break to recharge—I’ll be back soon.”
Food or drink boundaries
“Thanks for offering, but I’m comfortable with what I’ve chosen.”
Conversation boundaries
“I’d rather not talk about that. Let’s chat about something else.”
If needed:
“…and if the topic keeps coming up, I might step away for a bit.”
Financial boundaries
“I’m sticking to a budget this year, so I won’t be exchanging gifts—but I’d love to spend time together.”
Boundary discomfort is normal. But disappointing yourself repeatedly hurts far more than disappointing someone else once.
Family conflict increases by up to 40% during the holiday period because our brains are already under heightened stress from changes in routine, sensory overload, financial pressure, and increased social expectations.
A quick self-check-in for holiday prep
Here are three questions we encourage clients to ask as December begins:
What part of the holidays tends to be most stressful for me?
(Crowds? Family? Expectations? Loneliness? Sensory overload?)How do I know when I’m becoming dysregulated?
(Racing thoughts? Snapping? Shutting down? People-pleasing?)Which tool or boundary would help me most in those moments?
Even one small shift can change the entire tone of your holiday season.
And finally… Self-compassion above all
You will slip into old patterns. Everyone does.
When it happens, try saying:
“Ah, okay. I can see I’m overwhelmed. What do I need right now?”
This one sentence can interrupt shame, soften tension, and bring your logical brain back online.
Treat yourself gently. You’re navigating a big season with a full heart and a very human nervous system.
If you need support, we’re here
The holiday period can magnify everything - joy, grief, overwhelm, hope.
If you’d like someone to walk alongside you, our team is available throughout December and January for:
therapy and counselling
neurodiversity-affirming support
strategies for emotional regulation
parenting support
help navigating family dynamics
burnout prevention and recovery
ADHD/autism-informed coping approaches
Whether you need a single session to steady yourself or ongoing support, we’re here.
You’re not meant to hold everything alone.
If you’d like to book an appointment or discuss how we can help, simply follow the link below:
https://www.theheartandmindcollective.com.au/contact
You can also download our free resource here to keep all these tips handy over the holiday season.